well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
