i would punch a child for taco bell
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize