My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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