I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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