Don't you send me to vm
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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