i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize