am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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