P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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