I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
