I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
