if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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