My first STD was from a foam party
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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