do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
time to smoke my breakfast
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
