I like to think it a success when the cops are called
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize