I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
