I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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