But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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