it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
