I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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