"it" just moved
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
