You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize