better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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