I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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