Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
