I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
