mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
