doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Alive.
So much puke
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize