everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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