Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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