All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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