We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize