Define "chronic" masturbator.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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