Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
