I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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