Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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