What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I still have a little drunk in my system
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
