Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
