Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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