Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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