I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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