Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
