Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
