And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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