It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
