high people should be assigned attendants
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
