woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
