Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize