he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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