You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
