peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did I show you my penis last night?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize