is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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