I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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