Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
