I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
