How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
