Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
