i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
