is your mom at the bar?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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