She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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