I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
50% drunk capacity currently
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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