is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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